3 Steps to Unconditionally Accepting Your Inner Being
Everyone at one point or another has felt judged or alone because of some aspect of their personality. The feeling is, quite simply, a miserable one. We all want to be accepted and fit in, loved unconditionally by everyone for exactly who we are. We spend time daydreaming about a world in which we can completely be ourselves. I know I have had my fair share of conversations with loved ones in the safety of my mind where I explain everything I want them to know about me.
But the truth is, some people just do not understand how it feels to experience the world differently. While statistics are tricky, allow me to pull some from around the web:
- approximately 25% of the world is intuitive;
- an estimated 15 to 20% of individuals are highly sensitive people;
- 3 to 7% of those tested have dominant introverted intuitive cognitive processing (INTJ, INFJ);
- and less than 4% of the population relate to the term clairsentient.
Those numbers show that intuitives, sensitives and empaths are no stranger to being in the minority. In a world dominated by those who see only that which lies on the surface and experience most of life through their five senses, speaking up about who we truly are is frightening at best and dangerous at worst.
So how do we cope when we have negative experiences from those who do not understand? How do we continue to stand strong and remain true to our inner being regardless of how others view us?
View yourself through your eyes.
When we feel the judgments of others, we are viewing ourselves through their eyes. We wonder if what they say is true, if others feel the same way, or if we have been wrong or crazy all along. Our viewpoint shifts away from our inner being, the complete picture of all that we know, and directs to a fabricated viewpoint based off a snapshot of another’s lens.
To combat the negativity that we feel in the moment, we must turn off their viewpoint and only look through our own. Consider the aspect of yourself which caused them to bring judgment and remember why you love that piece of yourself. What about it makes you happy? Why does this piece of you make you feel joy and alignment?
Your mind may instantly wish to go down the hole of wondering whether another’s viewpoint is accurate, but this line of thinking will only push you further away from your inner knowing. Instead, pause, redirect your focus from them back to you and talk to your inner being about everything you know is true and good about you.
Connect with others who understand.
When we feel alone, we become more susceptible to the critiques of others. Our brains were hardwired to conform for survival so when someone points out that we are different, fear overtakes us leading us to run away from who we truly are.
By taking the time to connect with others who understand, you rejoin your tribe and physiologically feel soothed and safe. Only when we feel secure can we offer ourselves and those around us the unconditional love we all deserve. In this state, you can further remind yourself of all that you know to be true about yourself and have the comfort of others solidifying these truths.
Whether you seek out friends, family, online groups or websites, the goal is to connect with those who honor you and cherish your unique gifts. If the person you feel closest to does not understand your gifts, this may not be the person to run to in the moment. Instead, find those who can help you feel comfort as you remember who you truly are.
This one may be the most challenging but absolutely the most important. When another person treats you poorly or offers a negative judgment, it is based on their beliefs, and is not a reflection of you. We hear this so many times and yet it is easy logic to forget in the emotion of the moment.
No one can see the world through anyone’s eyes but their own. As empaths, sensitives and intuitives, we can share some of the phenomenal experiences of others, but even the most sensitive among us is still their own individual being and thus each of our experiences will be different from anyone else’s.
This truth applies to those who judge us as well. They cannot fathom an existence so different from their own and this is the basis of their critiques or condemnations. To expect them to experience life as we do in order to connect with them is to offer conditional love through wanting them to change. When we instead offer them compassion, recognize that their path is different from our own, and send them blessings, we can free ourselves from their opinions of us.
It is important to not rush this step or force compassion when you just aren’t feeling it lest you risk damaging your own beliefs or diminishing your value. But after you have gone through the steps mentioned above in order to regain unconditional acceptance of your inner being, entering a place where you can offer compassion to those who have brought their judgments will feel much easier.
Most forget how different we all are and the majority actually long to be the same. When someone shows them a reality which conflicts with their own, they feel frightened, uneasy or uncomfortable. But by standing confident in the truth of your inner being, you give them the strength and power to do the same.