5 Reasons Why Introverted Relationships Work

Everyone is familiar with the age-old saying that “opposites attract.” There is a certain catchiness to it that lures in those who are looking for relationship advice. But it may not always be true.

When it comes to the introverts and extroverts, a lot of relationship advice pushes the dynamic duo, bringing the introvert out of their shell and toning down the extrovert. But what if the opposite were true? What if the combination, for some, was actually more detrimental?

As an introvert madly in love with an introvert, I can strongly vouch for why the introverted relationship works so well. Here are five main reasons why I would encourage an introvert looking for love to not rule out the idea that opposites don’t always attract.

1. Balanced needs for refueling. An introvert feels stronger and happier when they are allowed to have their time alone just to think while extroverts require others to provide emotional fuel for them. In an introverted relationship, neither party requires such a heavy responsibility from their partner. Without the need for one to fuel another, they can both individually reach their level of comfort and bring that peace to the relationship.

2. Understanding. While an extrovert can certainly cater to an introvert’s needs, they can never fully understand them. It is a wonderful gift to be involved with a partner who knows why you need to hide from the world occasionally without trying to change it or negotiate with it.

3. Varying intellectual conversations. Of course extroverts are just as capable of intelligent conversations, but with two introverts who enjoy reading and pondering over socializing, the range of deep conversations is much greater and ever-changing. Not to mention, the surprise turns and twists that can occur in a conversation when given the chance to think apart.

4. Every evening in. To most extroverts, this sounds like a negative thing but many introverts would be thrilled to spend more time at home on their couch or at least away from larger crowds or entertaining. When your partner is also an introvert, this is the norm. There is no need to put on an extroverted face when you just want to crash in the corner or ask your partner to forgo their evening of fun when you just aren’t feeling it.

5. Solitude combined with togetherness. Few things are as amazing to an introvert as sitting quietly with their thoughts or a good book. But when paired with sharing this amazing experience with your partner, it becomes pure bliss. The need to escape and be separate to recuperate never requires you to be fully alone, allowing a much deeper bond to form.

While there are positives and negatives to every relationship, the introvert/extrovert combination that many feel they must seek is not set in stone. There are ample benefits to two introverts falling in love. So at the next social gathering, try looking at the wallflower with the book. You may find that opposites do not necessarily attract.

INFJ book
 For more on INFJ relationships, check out